


Swear Jar. 100 Yen.

by Blue_Fields



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 2nd years as 3rd years, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aobajousai, Crack, Fluff and Crack, KyouHaba - Freeform, M/M, Swear jar, do not take this seriously, just complete and udder crack, watari is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26299891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Fields/pseuds/Blue_Fields
Summary: "Kyoutani swore, a lot. It was kind of obvious. To begin with, his personality was shit. He glares at anyone that stares too long, bumps into people that are in his way, and snaps at anyone that gets too close. Not to even mention how much of a delinquent he looks."~Or: Complete crack surrounding kyouhaba and a swear jar. Rated T for the excessive use of curse words.
Relationships: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 209





	Swear Jar. 100 Yen.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this seriously. One of my friends (*cough cough* Jay) gave me this idea and I have no impulse control, so I wrote it.

Kyoutani swore, a lot. It was kind of obvious. To begin with, his personality was shit. He glares at anyone that stares too long, bumps into people that are in his way, and snaps at anyone that gets too close. Not to even mention how much of a delinquent he looks.

So yeah, Kyoutani swore a lot. He would throw around his “fucks” and “shits” and sometimes his “shitfucks”. Sometimes there were “fuckshits” on good days.

Yahaba had to give him credit for his creativity. But this arose an issue. Kyoutani’s swearing was scaring the first years.

Yahaba was the new captain, so he knew something had to be done. He thought about it for a while until Watari asked him what was making him look so constipated.

Once he told Watari, the libero had an easy, yet kind of silly answer. A swear jar. Everytime Kyoutani swore during practice, he would have to put 100 yen into the jar.

Yahaba loved the idea. It was a way to keep Kyoutani’s swearing in check and raise money for team outings. It saved Yahaba’s wallet as well.

When he told Kyoutani of the new rule, Yahaba immediately was told “hell no. You think I’m gonna fuckin listen to you just because you’re the captain? Yeah fuck that.”

“Watch your attitude, Kyoutani! You never know, Yahaba might just pin you to the wall again!” Watari called out from where he was helping the first years with receives. His comment made a few of them turn their heads, eyes wide and full of questions.

“Watari, hush. Everyone go back to work or it’s 20 laps,” Yahaba ordered, fighting to keep his blush down. Kyoutani rolled his eyes, but Yahaba could see his shoulders tense up a little.

“Yes, Captain!” Was the instant reply as everyone went back to work. Yahaba sighed, turning his attention back to his ace. 

“This isn’t just for you, Kyoutani. It’s going to apply to everyone. I’m just telling you first because you swear the most,” Yahaba further explained. While he wasn’t wrong, Kyoutani just had to argue with him.

“Do not.”

Yahaba sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do too. Now, this jar is going to sit next to the coach, and anytime you swear and someone hears it, you put 100 yen in the jar. Got it?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Kyoutani rolled his eyes again and shrugged. Yahaba knew that this meant he had won this time. He smiled and clapped his hands together to get Kyoutai’s attention once more.

“Perfect! Now let’s go practice that quick.”

——

The jar had been doing it’s job, and Yahaba’s wallet had started to feel heavy. Kyoutani’s swearing had been kept to a minimum and Yahaba had even seen one of their new wing spikers ask him for help.

However, what Yahaba wasn’t expecting was for Kyoutani to call others out when they swore. So far today, Kyoutani had cursed twice, but had called out four others. One person he called out was a first year. The kid had messed up his served and whispered a little “fuck”. Kyoutani turned around and told the kid to go put 100 yen in the swear jar. The funny thing was that Kyoutani wasn’t even near the first year. He was on the other side of the court, but he somehow still knew.

Yahaba waited until Kyoutani was on the other side of the gym to whisper, “How the fuck is he doing that?”

Immediately, Kyoutani turned to face him, a smirk on his face. Yahaba felt frozen under his glare, a cold sweat forming on his brow.

“Captain! That’s 100 yen into the jar!” Kyoutani yelled, the grin on his face growing as Yahaba’s eyes went wide.

“How did you even hear that? I was whispering!” Yahba yelled back, udderly confused as to how his teammate could have heard him.

“He’s got like some mother instincts or something,” Watari said next to him, almost like he was thinking out loud,

Yahaba couldn’t help but laugh. Kyoutani with mother’s instincts? That’s fucking hilarious.

So Kyoutani had crazy mother instincts. At first, Yahaba just thought the dude had really good hearing. Kyoutani could hear people cursing from across the gym, even if they were swearing. It was insane, and scared a lot of Yahaba’s new fan club. 

It scared Yahaba too, sometimes. They would be in class and Yahaba would whisper a quiet “fuck” when he didn’t understand a question in math. The next thing Yahaba knew, there was a note on his desk saying “Swear jar. 100 yen after class.” Yahaba was pretty sure that Kyoutani had some sort of supernatural power that let him know when people were swearing. 

____

They were at a practice match against Nekoma High, and so far, they weren’t doing too bad. Each team had won one set each, leaving the third set to be tense. Currently, it was time out and both teams were huddled together. Yahaba tried to pay attention to his own team while also listening to the other team behind him. 

They were talking barely above a whisper, and Yahaba sighed, knowing he couldn’t get any information like that. That’s when he remembered Kyoutani’s crazy, inhuman hearing. He scooted closer to the team’s new ace and nudged him with his elbow. It caught Kyoutani’s attention, who turned to the new captain with a frown on his face.

“What?” 

“Can you tell me what Nekoma is talking about?” Yahaba asked, fluttering his lashes a bit to try and persuade Kyoutani. 

Kyoutani looked confused, and slightly flustered by Yahaba’s antics. “Huh? What makes you think I can do that?”

“Don’t you have super hearing?” Now it was Yahaba’s turn to be confused. He was so sure that Kyoutani had really good hearing, almost like a dog’s.

“What the actually fuck are you talking about? I don’t have super hearing.” Kyoutani was getting angry and that’s when Yahaba knew to step down for a second. An angry Kyoutani during a match was hard to work with.

“Swear jar. And sure, whatever you say,” Yahaba replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he moved back to where he was standing.

The two stopped their conversation quickly as Yahaba had to give a few words of encouragement. Their team was fired up and quickly got back into the third set.

The game had been going well. Yahaba and Kyoutani’s quick had succeeded a few times, Watari was able to dig up some of Nekoma’s ace’s difficult spikes, and even Kunimi seemed to be having fun.

Seijoh was in the lead, and Yahaba could feel the anger wave off of two of the wing spikers from their team. It was entertaining watching a man with a mohawk and a tall Russian start to pester their small setter.

The game continued, and, as Yahaba expected, Seijoh won. Not without a fight, but the final score for the third set was 28-26. It was a good practice match and Yahaba knew what he and his team needed to work on. 

The teams were huddled by their coaches again, this time reviewing how the game went. Yahaba was just about to congratulate everyone, when he heard Kyoutani say something.

“Swear jar. 100 yen.”

The entire gym went quiet. It was then Kyoutani seemed to realize what he had said. He tensed up and his face turned deep red.

“Kyoutani… I haven’t even said anything yet,” Yahaba pointed out. He wasn’t even about to swear, so he wasn’t sure why Kyoutani had just said that.

“No. Not you. HIm.” Kyoutani pointed to someone on Nekoma’s team. Yahaba half expected it to be the ace. What he wasn’t prepared for was their setter to look back at them, eyes wide and curious.

“You, heard me?” The setter asked quietly, looking heavily confused.

Kyoutani nodded hesitantly. Yahaba was surprised, but he knew he shouldn’t be. Kyoutani’s ability to hear people cursing was insane and he didn’t think he’d ever be able to describe it.

____

It had been 5 years since Yahaba had first established the swear jar in their 3rd year of high school. Since then, Yahaba had to let go of a lot of 100 yen coins, especially on the day Kyoutani asked him out.

They stil had the system, but only when they wanted to fuck with each other. They had decided that once the jar was filled, they would use it to take each other out on dates. Some of them had been the best dates Yahaba had ever been on.

Currently, Yahaba was at the store looking for something to eat for dinner tonight. He searched through the meat section, trying to find the specific cut of steak Kyoutani liked. When he saw that the store was all out, he let a little “well fuck” out from under his breath.

He was about to move onto a different aisle when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and saw that it was a text message from Kyoutani. He entered his passcode, and quickly clicked on his messenger app. Once he saw the actual text though, Yahaba couldn’t help but sigh.

**Ken Babes**

**Ken Babes:** Swear Jar. 100 yen

**Yahababe:** HOW???

 **Yahababe:** IM LITERALLY AT THE STORE

**Ken Babes:** instinct

**Yahababe:** its your mother instincts kicking in

Yahaba sighed and shoved his phone back into his pocket, ignoring any protest Kyoutani might have made. He quickly gathered all the groceries he needed, and decided to make his way back home. He was about a block away when he felt his phone buzz again. He pulled it out and saw that it was a text from their group chat.

  
  


**Alien Freaks**

**Kyouken:** Kindaichi. Swear jar. 100 yen

**KinDIEchi:** HOW. I DONT UNDERSTAND

**Kyouken:** 100 yen, Matsukawa and Hanamaki

**Bara arms:** I don’t even want to know 

**Alien Ass:** I’m so glad that I didn’t have to deal with that when I was captain

 **Alien Ass:** I can’t imagine how annoying it got

**Lemme sleep:** it wasn’t annoying. It was amusing

**Sane person:** that’s bc you never swore and just recorded everything

**Makki:** but HOW

**Mattsun:** its gotta be some supernatural power

**Kyouken:** instinct

**Yahawannabe:** its his motherly instinct

**Kyouken:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

**Yahawannabe:** Swear jar. 100 yen

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to check out any of my other works, please read my daisuga fic, The Spirit of Love. Feel free to send me requests or just talk to me on Twitter!  
> ~  
> Twitter: kyou_haba


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